Thursday, June 1, 2017

Review & Excerpt: SEX ED by Z.B. Heller

Sex Ed, an all-new HOT and hilarious M/M comedy from Z.B. Heller is now available!!! 

Sex Ed by Z.B. Heller
Publication Date: May 31st, 2017
Genre: Contemporary MM Romance

Jaxson Dane is harboring a secret.

Not the fact that he’s a geeky comic book lover, or that he secretly draws his own comic, Bunny Fu Ninja Warrior. It’s not even classified information that he’s out and proud!

 His secret is the shame that he’s a twenty-three-year-old virgin. 

Jaxson isn’t waiting for marriage or even afraid of taking that step, he just hasn’t found the one guy who will accept all of his adorkable qualities. Due to an unfortunate mishap with a self-pleasuring apparatus and his favorite appendage, Jaxson meets Tyler Mason. The emerald-green-eyed nurse is a witness to the mortifying incident, leaving Jaxon both grateful and disappointed in their one-time meeting. 

And then Tyler somehow shows up at Jaxon’s family dinner.

The very dinner at which Jaxson’s hidden virginity is revealed to everyone, including the captivating nurse.

Even though he secretly found the ER situation hilarious, Tyler is also able to look past it to see Jaxson’s genuine nature and is drawn to the charming and hapless comic book artist. He’s tempted to pursue the inexperienced Jaxson, but a recent and life-altering decision puts a damper on his wants and desires. However, the more time they spent together, the more willing he is to take the risk of juggling his new commitments and winning Jaxon’s affections.

A large, insane, and meddlesome family, two prying co-workers, and a sexy nurse are all trying to give Jaxson a crash course in Sex Ed. Will he pass?

Read Today!

(Free in Kindle Unlimited)

Excerpt (VERY naughty!)

I opened the nightstand and found the toy I had ordered online. A guy I knew from one of the comic forums I belonged to swore by this toy. All right, maybe we talked about all types of things and not just comics on this particular forum. One time there might have been a discussion about which character we would bang and it sort of went off the cliff from there. My choice would be Superman because I have a dream of being plowed while flying at the same time. My second choice would be Spiderman, because I would be curious as to what he could do with all that webbing. Maybe a little Spidey BDSM play?

The toy which sat in my hand was called The Jackhammer. The tag line on the construction-yellow box read, Giving you a Hand at Jacking Off. The man pictured on the box was wearing a hard hat with only the Jackhammer covering his essential parts. His face was contorted into orgasmic pleasure.

 I opened the box and pulled out a plastic object that was about ten inches long. The toy was bright, school bus yellow, with one wide end that narrowed towards the bottom, giving it the illusion of a jackhammer. The fuller end was covered in a clear, soft silicone, with a hole in the middle, which I assumed is where your d*ck was supposed to go. I threw the box on the floor and lay down on my bed, propping a pillow under my head and making myself comfortable.

With vigorous excitement, I grabbed my stiff d*ck again and slipped the Jackhammer over the crown, slowly bringing it down the shaft. It felt comfortable and effortless as I wiggled it down until it hit the base. Inside of the toy, the ridges of the silicone made my already sensitive d*ck want to explode.

My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I pulled the toy painstakingly back up the shaft. I moaned and fisted my hand around the outside, so I could get a good grip on the toy to move it up and down. I looked down to see my shaft appear and then disappear again, the ridged edges inside rubbed against my skin, blessing me with exquisite pleasure.

 I closed my eyes and brought myself back to the hypothetical frat house. Kaleb’s throbbing c*ck jutted out in front of me, waiting for me to take it into my watering mouth. The other brothers surround us, pulling out their own c*cks to stroke while they looked upon Kaleb and I. Kaleb grabbed the base of his c*ck, clutched a handful of my hair and said, “open up.”  Of course, I did, because I wasn’t going to deny Fantasy Kaleb. I let him f*ck my mouth as I took him all the way down my throat. In this make believe world I had no gag reflex and some pretty mad oral skills.

I pulled the Jackhammer faster along my length as I started to feel the familiar sensation of an orgasm settling at the base of my spine. My balls drew upwards and I knew that I was going to blow my load any minute. I moved the toy faster, its suction tightening around me.

Then it happened. Pain. A pain like none I had ever known, almost paralyzing my body. My eyes flew open and a shriek erupted out of my mouth like a coyote being attacked by a T-rex. I lifted my head, almost afraid to look down, and tried to move the toy slightly, but was unable to, pain searing from the tip of my d*ck, down the shaft, and into my groin.

Holy mother-f*cking douche mongers.

My heart flipped from racing with pleasure to running in fear. I started to panic while I tried again to delicately remove the toy. After several failed attempts I knew I was screwed. With precise, delicate movements, I sat up on the bed, reached to the floor and grab the box the toy came in. I examined it and searched if there was a secret release to get this f*cker off. I flipped the box over, scanning the words until I saw some directions I failed to read.

Must use lubricant inside silicone to avoid rupture.

Rupture of what? My d*ck? Holy sh*t, I had a ruptured d*ck! I don’t want to walk around having my d*ck split in half. What would that mean if I had to pee? Would it go into two different streams? Do people understand how hard it is to point and aim one stream? Now I’ll have two to worry about? What about sex? Will I stick one-half of my d*ck inside someone while jerking the other side off? Oh, the humanity!

Carra's Review

All right folks, before you start this one be sure you’re mind is wide open and that you’ve tossed the shy, prim and proper side of yourself way far out the window.  You’re about to step into a family where anything—and I mean ANYTHING—goes and nothing—and I mean NOTHING—is ever a secret…or at least not for long.  Welcome to Jaxson’s life!

Jaxson is exactly the kind of guy I’d pick for myself.  He’s not a center-of-attention, loud and crazy kind of guy—probably because his entire family makes up for it on a planet-sized scale.  He’s sweet and nerdy, but also wildly talented and downright lovable.  Let’s just hope whoever he ends up with can handle that whacked-out family of his.  And Tyler?  He pretty much fits that bill.  Imagine a wonderful guy who puts others first, is protective and adorable, has his own oh-my-goodness sweetness factor—and is even pretty entertained by Jaxson’s family.  Oh, and let’s not forget responsible and dedicated to family.

Now I know this book is presented as a hilarious romantic comedy, and a lot of emphasis has been placed on the “funny” of it all.  While I will certainly agree that there’s plenty of laughs to be found, I’ve got to be honest—for me, that part of it actually felt way overboard, almost like the author was trying too hard to be funny every step of the way.  When actually…and this is just my take on it…I thought that the development of the relationship between Tyler and Jaxson took center stage as opposed to the hilarity.  I found myself pushing past the raunchy jokes, not at all subtle innuendos, and downright indecent banter (the majority of which was actually not coming from Jaxson and Tyler) to zero in on the interactions between our two main characters.  I could have done without most of the stuff put in to draw out the laughs because Jaxson and Tyler drew me in all on their own.

This doesn’t mean I didn’t find the funny…I actually got a big kick out of the times Jaxson’s head was in the clouds from drinking because he said some pretty amusing stuff.  I just found his and Tyler’s evolving relationship to be the more interesting focus of the story.  As for Jaxson’s sister Sophie and sort-of cousin/best friend Ethan and their shtick over the top (and Sophie’s manner of being totally up in Jaxson’s business—personal, private…and private parts business—just a bit disturbing even if she was his twin).  Ryan and Brandon though?  Yeah, those two were just right.

Sex Ed gets an overall 3.5 stars from me, and it’s almost purely based on the relationship aspect of the story with maybe that half star coming from the funny stuff.  The rest of the excessive humor actually worked against my rating for this one, and most of that I blame on Sophie (and a bit on Ethan) because I actually wound up more annoyed with her than amused.  This book is meant only for readers 18+ due to adult language and M/M sexual content—which actually did not take over the book, even given the title and premise of the story.

About the Author

As a little girl it was always a dream for Z.B. Heller to become She-Ra Princess of Power. Since this dream was unattainable, she spent what was probably way too long in college trying to “find herself”. Becoming an artist scratched the creative itch until the stories in her head were getting to be to loud for her to get anything else accomplished.
She lives in St. Louis with her husband, son and Flemish Giant rabbit Chloe. In her spare time she likes to read, stalk celebrities on Twitter and create the type of art people scratch their heads about.

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