Acsquidentally In Love
by K.L. Hiers
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Cover Artist: Tiferet Design
Genre/s: Paranormal M/M Romance, Mystery, Tentacles
Trope/s: Solving Your Own Murder, Boy Meets God, Hidden Villain, Consentacles
Themes: Restoring Faith, Seeking Justice, Self-Sacrifice
Heat Rating: 4 flames
Length: 60 000 words/ 188 pages
It is the first book in the series.
Nothing brings two men—or one man and an ancient god—together like revenge.
Nothing brings two men—or one man and an ancient god—together like revenge.
Private investigator Sloane sacrificed his career in law enforcement in pursuit of his parents’ murderer. Like them, he is a follower of long-forgotten gods, practicing their magic and offering them his prayers… not that he’s ever gotten a response.
Azaethoth the Lesser might be the patron of thieves and tricksters, but he takes care of his followers. He’s come to earth to avenge the killing of one of his favorites, and maybe charm the pants off the cute detective Fate has placed in his path. If he has his way, they’ll do much more than bring a killer to justice. In fact, he’s sure he’s found the man he’ll spend his immortal life with.
Sloane’s resolve is crumbling under Azaethoth’s surprising sweetness, and the tentacles he sometimes glimpses escaping the god’s mortal form set his imagination alight. But their investigation gets stranger and deadlier with every turn. To survive, they’ll need a little faith… and a lot of mystical firepower.
“I’m sorry,” Loch said suddenly, his attention stolen away from the television and focusing intently on Sloane.
“What?” Sloane turned his head, staring in shock. He didn’t think gods were much on apologies.
“I obviously caused you great discomfort with my actions earlier today,” Loch explained, his hand reaching for Sloane’s, “and yes, while I am a trickster… I don’t aim to always be a complete bastard.”
“Loch,” Sloane murmured softly, surprised by how genuinely sorry he sounded.
“I got this for you,” Loch said, a tentacle reaching over to present Sloane with an incense bowl. “It upset you, but… it also brought you joy. I thought you might like to have it.”
“This is from the museum!” Sloane gasped, recognizing it immediately as the one that had reminded him of his mother’s. “You stole this? Loch! How did you, it, it was in a glass case! We need to take it back!”
“Technically, the museum stole it from my family,” Loch said smugly. “It was an offering for my aunt, and I was merely making an effort to return it to its rightful owner. Since she’s asleep, it’s my responsibility to liberate it on her behalf. I am now giving it to you.”
“I can’t… I can’t accept this!”
“Don’t you like it?”
“Then please take it,” Loch urged, “with my most sincere apologies.”
“Thank you.” Sloane was touched and looked over the bowl with a helpless smile. It was as good of an apology as he would likely ever get from an immortal being, with or without the well meaning theft. Suspicious, he added quickly, “I’m still not going to have sex with you.”
“We’ll see.” Loch laughed, giving Sloane’s hand a playful tug.
“No, we won’t,” Sloane said despite a big grin creeping onto his face. He didn’t pull his hand away, letting their fingers tangle together even after he put the incense bowl aside. It felt nice.
A few more sips from his drink and Sloane ended up cuddling against Loch’s side with his arm around his shoulders. That was nice too.
“Do you… uhm… do you want something to eat?” Sloane asked quietly as the hour grew late, and he realized that sandwich was the only thing either of them had had all day.
“I don’t require sustenance,” Loch replied, smirking fondly down at Sloane. “Immortal, remember?”
“Would you like… something?” Loch asked innocently, his tongue swiping slowly over his lips to indicate he was definitely not talking about food.
Sloane’s cheeks flushed immediately, his attention drawn to Loch’s mouth as he stammered, “N-no, I’m actually pretty good right now.”
Loch shifted, using his arm around Sloane’s shoulders to pull him closer. He cradled Sloane’s face, fingers running into his hair as he purred, “Are you absolutely sure?”
No one had ever looked at Sloane the way Loch was right now, with such heat, such adoration and raw desire. It made his blood pump excitedly and his breath catch in his mouth before he could properly inhale.
“Not really,” Sloane replied weakly.
Loch nosed along Sloane’s cheek, sighing, “Why are you so afraid to let yourself experience pleasure with me?”
“I don’t just go around ‘experiencing pleasure’ with people!” Sloane protested even as his voice cracked when he felt Loch’s tongue slide along the edge of his ear. “F*ck….”
“Why not?” Loch asked, his breath hot and husky in Sloane’s ear.
“Because… because….” Sloane couldn’t think straight, stammering to think of an answer. It was impossible to gather his thoughts with Loch’s tongue at his ear and his fingers curling so sweetly through his hair.
“Because?” Loch pressed, calm and perfectly innocent.
“When I’m with someone, I want it to mean something,” Sloane said finally, his head foggy and trying to remain firm. “I want something that will last.”
“It can last all night,” Loch promised, his lips lightly pressing against Sloane’s jaw. “And the night after that… and the night after that….”
“F*ck it,” Sloane hissed, dragging Loch into a hot kiss, shoving his tongue into his mouth with a loud moan.
You know, I never thought when I decided to read my first story involving tentacles that it would be simultaneously funny, silly, hella sexy, completely erotic…and oh yes, that it would make me cry. All with a solid plot, characters you can’t help but like, and a bit of suspense to boot. Nope, did not see that coming at all. And you know what? I LOVED IT.
My sympathy for Sloane with the death of his parents that was still unsolved was overflowing. He’d been so determined to find out who killed them to his own career’s detriment, and of course that had me wanting vindication and resolution for him. When Azaethoth (a.k.a Loch) comes along, he injects purpose—along with some disbelief, silliness, and charm—into Sloane’ life. He’s incorrigible, and he’s also out to ensure the person who killed one of his devout followers is bought to justice. An interesting combination to be sure, and one that had me laughing and wanting justice as well in equal parts.
And then there’s those tentacles. I mean, dang…when I thought “tentacles”, my mind conjured up scenes that bordered on ridiculous, maybe even creeping into the realm of absurd. I never expected a level of eroticism that had me checking my battery stash was stocked up. Sloane and Loch’s intimate scenes were scorching, full stop.
To make this all even better? There’s a solid storyline here with well thought out twists, and it got me invested deeply enough in Sloane and Loch’s budding relationship that the intense emotional buildup snuck up on me. The very short time frame in which the story unfolds could scream insta-love, but it honestly didn’t feel like that at all to me; their feelings seemed genuine—so much so that as the climactic confrontation of the story resulted in me actually getting teary-eyed.
The lesson here? Don’t try something new with preconceived notions of what you’re going to get. Tentacles doesn’t automatically translate to some wacky sci-fi nonsensical pulp fiction with gratuitous porn of an alien nature. Acsquidentally in Love actually delivers a great paranormal romance with a well thought out magical world, and a main couple you can’t help but love. 5 stars, and since this is billed as the first in a series I can’t wait for more! This book is meant for readers 18+ for adult language and unique erotic sexual content ;-)
About the Author
K.L. “Kat” Hiers is an embalmer, restorative artist, and queer writer. Licensed in both funeral directing and funeral service, she’s been working in the death industry for nearly a decade. Her first love was always telling stories, and she has been writing for over twenty years, penning her very first book at just eight years old. Publishers generally do not accept manuscripts in Hello Kitty notebooks, however, but she never gave up.
Following the success of her first novel, Cold Hard Cash, she now enjoys writing professionally, focusing on spinning tales of sultry passion, exotic worlds, and emotional journeys. She loves attending horror movie conventions and indulging in cosplay of her favorite characters. She lives in Zebulon, NC, with her husband and their six children, three of whom have paws and one who sometimes thinks he does.
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