Kraken My Heart
(Sucker For Love Mysteries Book 2)
by K.L. Hiers
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Cover Artist: Tiferet Design
Release Date: May 18, 2021
Genre: Paranormal Gay Romance
Trope/s: Closed Circle Mystery, Guilty Until Proven Innocent, Hemipenes Loving, Finding Love After Heartbreak
Theme: Love Conquers All
Heat Rating: 5 flames
Length: 60 000 words/ 191 pages
It is a standalone story, but the author recommends reading the first one.
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It’s just Ted’s luck that he meets the love of his life while covered in the blood of a murder victim.
Blurb
It’s just Ted’s luck that he meets the love of his life while covered in the blood of a murder victim.
Funeral worker Ted Sturm has a foul mouth, a big heart, and a knack for communicating with the dead. Unfortunately, the dead don’t make very good friends, and Ted’s only living pal, his roommate, just rescued a strange cat who’s determined to make his life even more miserable. This cat is more than he seems, and soon Ted finds himself in an alternate dimension… and on top of a dead body.
When Ted is accused of murder, his only ally in a strange world full of powerful magical beings calling for his head is King Grell, a sarcastic, randy, catlike immortal with impressive abilities… and anatomy. The two soon find themselves at the center of a cosmic conspiracy and surrounded by dangerous enemies. But with Ted’s special skills and Grell’s magic, they have a chance to get to the bottom of the mystery and save Ted. There’s just one problem: Ted’s got to resist Grell’s aggressive advances… and he isn’t sure he wants to.
Excerpt
Carefully, like Ted was navigating through a minefield, he tried to sneak back to his room. Despite his diligent and precise pace, his foot collided with a very large ball of fur just as he walked around the edge of the couch.
Mr. Twigs yowled in protest and promptly bit Ted’s ankle.
“You stupid cat!” Ted growled in pain, his leg jerking and sending the cat stumbling into the wall. His heart dropped in instant regret, and he hurried to turn on a lamp. “Sh*t! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to, little dude! Are you okay?”
Mr. Twigs was glaring at Ted over his sunglasses and growled loudly. A portal suddenly opened up in the living room floor with flashing bright lights and whipping winds.
Ted froze, staring stupidly at the giant black void in the apartment floor. Being able to create a portal was a very rare skill, and he’d never seen one in person before. “What the…?”
As if the swirling hole wasn’t crazy enough, Mr. Twigs transformed into a very tall, very skinny, and very naked young man. He flashed a smile full of pointed teeth, hissing, “Oh, that’s the last time you kick me, asshole.”
“I didn’t kick you!” Ted argued indignantly. “It was a f*cking accidennnnnttt!” he screamed as Mr. Twigs pushed him and sent him toppling headfirst into the portal.
It was like… going down a water slide filled with pudding.
Ted didn’t feel air around him, not exactly, but it was something thick and suffocating. The light all around him was so bright that he couldn’t see, and he thought he had to be dying.
His stomach dropped as if he was falling, but he couldn’t see anything to track his descent. He grunted when he smacked into something solid and wet, the wind knocked right out of his lungs. He wheezed, trying to draw in oxygen and staring up at a high vaulted ceiling.
Ted watched the portal close above him, and he weakly lifted his head to see where he was. He was lying in a puddle of something sticky, and the room was reminiscent of an old castle throne room.
Big ceilings, lots of stained glass, fancy throne….
He was also completely surrounded by monsters.
Giant scaled things with tentacles, humanoids with spiraling horns jutting out of their foreheads, twisted feline creatures with sharp teeth, and fishlike worms were all around him.
Ted scrambled to stand up, but he slipped in the sticky mess beneath him. He could feel the goo all over his back and hands, sliding around as he struggled to get out of it. He bumped into something cold and whirled around to find a dead body.
It was one of the feline creatures, its eyes lifeless and milky, soaking in a puddle of….
Oh God.
It was blood.
“Pardon me, coming through!” a deep voice growled, echoing throughout the massive chamber. “Stand aside! This is official royal business, so move your ass!”
Ted was nauseated, staring up at a human figure pushing his way through the crowd of monsters.
He was short but broad, thick in stature, and sporting a nasty smile full of pointed teeth. Otherwise, he looked quite normal. His hair was jet black, cut close to his scalp, with a well-groomed beard streaked with silver, and his eyes were a spectacular shade of gold, looking over Ted like he was a tasty piece of meat.
He wore a three-piece suit, but it was a much flashier ensemble than Ted would have worn for his job at the funeral home. The jacket and pants were black, but the tie was an obnoxiously bright purple, and he could see a glittering watch chain hanging from the man’s matching purple brocade vest.
“Well, aren’t you just a pretty little thing?” the man greeted. “What’s your name, darling?”
“I’m, I’m…,” Ted stammered, looking around frantically as the monsters backed away. Whoever this man was, he was definitely in charge. There was something about the way he was looking at Ted that made him blush and his heart beat a little faster.
“I’m Ted…. My name is Ted,” he managed to choke out. He wondered if he was dead or if this was some sort of nightmare. His mind was having trouble processing that any of this was real. “Where am I? What is this?”
“Welcome to Xenon, darling,” the man replied. “I’m Thiazi Grell. I was voted most likely to get detained for illegal activities by my primary class, very avid Tetris player, and reigning Miss Pretty Petunia Pageant champion for the last two hundred years. Oh, and King of Xenon. Obviously.”
“Huh?” Ted squeaked.
“Would you like something to drink?” Grell offered. “Something strong. Help you calm down, put some more hair on that luscious chest, come to terms with the murder charges….”
“With the what?”
Carra's Review
After I read the first book in this series, I was plenty excited for more. Here in the second story in the series, I was expecting (and hoping) for something similar to book one but didn’t quite find that. This time, the story is set in the same world but King Grell is actually a cat-like being, albeit with some tentacle features—though those don’t play into the intimate scenes between him and Ted—so I’m not quite sure where the “Kraken” in the title comes from.
Ted is a mostly average guy with a penchant for dropping f-bombs quite a bit (to me, overly so). His not-so-average talent of seeing and interacting with ghosts though makes for a definitely more unique life than everyone else. Grell is a slightly obnoxious king who has conveniently varied magical powers, and has an overly healthy libido.
The circumstances of the accusations against Ted may border on the ridiculous, but they are the catalyst for the rest of the events in the story. Sometimes things verged on corniness, but there was a mystery to solve and a convoluted path to find the perpetrators. I’ll admit I didn’t figure it out until the reveal at the end, and I usually can guess correctly beforehand.
As for those intimate scenes? You’ll definitely find the heat level set to high, and while tentacles aren’t part of that equation that doesn’t mean there aren’t other interesting parts involved ;-)
Kraken My Heart was a 3.5-star read for me, and while it was different from what I expected it was still a good read and furthered themes from the first book regarding the old gods, something I hope continues as the series goes on. This book is meant for readers 18+ for Ted’s potty mouth and sexual content.
About the Author
K.L. “Kat” Hiers is an embalmer, restorative artist, and queer writer. Licensed in both funeral directing and funeral service, she’s been working in the death industry for nearly a decade. Her first love was always telling stories, and she has been writing for over twenty years, penning her very first book at just eight years old. Publishers generally do not accept manuscripts in Hello Kitty notebooks, however, but she never gave up.
Following the success of her first novel, Cold Hard Cash, she now enjoys writing professionally, focusing on spinning tales of sultry passion, exotic worlds, and emotional journeys. She loves attending horror movie conventions and indulging in cosplay of her favorite characters. She lives in Zebulon, NC, with her husband and their children, some of whom have paws and a few that only pretend to because they think it’s cute.
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