True Blue (Out of the Blue #3)
by RJ Jones
When being true to yourself means denial is no longer an option.
On the heels of a tragedy, Brandon White shaved his hair, adorned his body with tattoos, and concentrated on his attraction to the opposite sex. Fifteen years later, Brandon is a protective son and a loyal and respected member of the San Francisco Fire Department, bedding anything in a skirt that promises not to stick around afterward.
When his past and present collide in his dreams—including his best friend and fellow fireman, Mason—Brandon knows things are never going to be the same again. He starts to recall that fateful day years before, and the long-forgotten feelings that preceded it. The most important thing he remembers—he’s not as straight as he’d thought.
With help, Brandon learns to accept who he was always meant to be. But when tragedy strikes again, Brandon must reconcile his past and present and deal with his grief if he is to ever be true, not only to himself, but to Mason as well.
Mason steered Andy away without so much as a hello, and while I contemplated how much that stung, Kris grabbed my arm, pulling me to the corner near the front door. “What have you done to make Mason ignore you? He’s so pissed, he’s got smoke coming out his ears.”
Could I tell Kris? He was a nice guy, good with a hose. I trusted him with my life when we were on the job, but could I trust him with what I was feeling? He was openly bisexual in a committed gay relationship, so maybe he could help? I had no f*cking idea but I wasn’t a fan of being out of my depth. And I was sinking fast, being pulled down by my concrete boots. Being this close to Mason and Andy was doing a number on my brain, and I could feel the ugly green monster taking over.
Kris eyed me, then glanced at Mason, who was watching us, before turning back to me. “You tried something with Mason, didn’t you?”
Jesus. I guess the decision to tell Kris wasn’t mine to make after all.
I crossed my arms, instantly on the defensive. “How did you…?”
“Chill. I’m not that observant, but Jet is. He mentioned something a few weeks back when he introduced Andy to Mase. He’s a manipulative little sh*t.” Kris’s tone was affectionate. I knew he liked having Jet live with him even though he was dating Jet’s brother, Gray.
I looked over Kris’s shoulder and caught Jet watching us from the kitchen. Jet winked and blew me a kiss. I shook my head. I couldn’t wrap my head around Jet and Mason together, they just didn’t fit. Neither did Andy and Mason for that matter.
I turned my attention back to Kris, rubbing the back of my neck. “Umm… yeah.”
“Wow. I thought Jet was kidding but that little scenario made me think twice. You’ve both been a little weird this week.”
“Yeah,” I repeated. I had no idea what to say. What else was there?
Kris went on, his tone soft and understanding. “I get that you’re going through some sh*t right now. Probably trying to decide what you feel. I’m assuming this is new and probably really f*cking weird. Am I right?”
“You could say that.”
Kris rested a hand on my shoulder. “Wanna hear a story?”
I nodded even though I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
“I figured out I was bi in high school. I dated girls, but even though I was attracted to them, something was missing. I felt the pull to the guys in the locker room and at first, I didn’t know what it was. I kept dating the girls but I had a roving eye for guys. I wanted to kiss a guy, see what it felt like. Then when I did, I wanted more. Men were the missing link for me. I could date girls, even fall in love with them, but they couldn’t give me what a man could.”
That was more than I needed to know and Kris chuckled at my reaction.
“No, you idiot. It’s got nothing to do with sex, although…” Kris glanced at Gray, who was now talking with Cam, and his eyes glazed over. After a second he rolled his shoulders and turned his attention back to me. “Anyway, sex isn’t everything. It’s a big part of it, sure, but it’s more about how Gray makes me feel. He makes me a better person. I feel invincible with him, like I could do anything. He lights up my day, especially after a hard shift, and I couldn’t imagine coming home to anyone else. I would lay down my life for him.” Kris laid a hand on my shoulder, his gaze piercing. “Do you know what I’m saying?”
I took a deep breath and watched Mason as he flirted with Andy. Was it just me, or was he going overboard with the PDAs? Every time my gaze made it his way, it seemed he caressed his boyfriend just that little bit more. My stomach seized and I forced myself not to clutch at it. I kept watching Mason as I spoke. “I need to let go of everything from the past. I need to show him who I really am, not who I thought I was, in the hope he’ll accept me and let me love him as he deserves.”
“Ugh, yeah.” Kris laughed. “That wasn’t what I was going to say, but that works. Just be careful. Mason’s with Andy and he’s a good guy. Maybe not the guy for Mase, but a good guy nonetheless. He doesn’t deserve what Mason is doing, even though Mason isn’t doing it intentionally.”
I didn’t want to think about what that meant. Mason wasn’t an asshole. I looked around the apartment. “Why do I feel like I’m back in high school? I mean, we’re standing near the kitchen talking about boyfriends and girlfriends.” I ran a hand over my scalp. “F*ck it, I need another drink.”
Kris laughed, then yelled over his shoulder, “Hey, Jet! Brandon needs a beer. You can either let him into the kitchen or you can bring him one.”
Jet bounded over with a beer for each of us. He pulled me down and whispered in my ear, “I’m beginning to like you,” before handing over the bottles and swishing off to the kitchen again. Either I never paid attention before or my attraction to men was making me look at guys a little differently. Jet could certainly work those hips.
I smiled at Kris. “I bet he’s a barrel of fun to live with.”
Kris shook his head and laughed. “You have no idea.” He squeezed my shoulder before wandering over to Gray and sliding an arm around his waist. Gray looked at him and smiled, his dark eyes brightening that little bit more in Kris’s presence.
RJ started as a reader and eventually made the progression to reviewing. It wasn't until two men popped into her thoughts, insisting on telling her their story that she started to write. It started with one scene. A hot and dirty one in the shower.
RJ's initial thought was if she could write their scene then they'd shut up and allow her to concentrate on other aspects of the day. That shower scene was 3000 words long and three hours of work. But they didn't shut up. They told her their entire story and she didn't sleep for days. Sometimes she couldn't keep up with what they were telling her and she had to keep a notebook by the bed.
Whilst RJ was writing their story a side character decided he needed his story told too. Then other characters followed suit.
You see the problem? If RJ ever wants to sleep again then she needs to write.
RJ is a wife and a mother to two boys. Even her dog is a boy.
She is surrounded by males.
RJ writes emotionally charged, character driven romances. Her guys will always get their HEA, but it will never be easy.
Where to find me