Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 11, 2023

Spotlight-Excerpt & Giveaway: BREAKFAST AT TIMOTHY'S by Richard Tyler Jordan

Breakfast at Timothy’s

Author and Publisher: Richard Tyler Jordan

Cover Artist: Darlene Dixon

Release Date: September 9, 2023

Genres: Mystery, Rom-com, Contemporary M/M Romance, Comedy

Tropes:  Wide-eyed innocent, Fanboy, Fish out of water, Amateur sleuth

Themes:  Innocence vs. experience, allure of fame, trust & betrayal, ambition and aspiration, complexity of human nature.

Heat Rating:  2 flames

Length:  85 000 words/ 311 pages

It is a standalone book and does not end on a cliffhanger.

Goodreads


Buy Links

Amazon US  |  Amazon UK


In a city of stars, who cast the shadow of death?

Blurb

Fresh-out-of-college aspiring novelist Timothy Trousdale can hardly believe his good luck when he lands a job in New York City as a live-in assistant to his all-time favorite showbiz diva, Mercedes Ford. He’s seen all her movies. Spent oodles on tickets to her Broadway shows. And now, he gets to live and work in her swanky Tribeca penthouse. Surely, he’ll be leading the glamorous life rubbing elbows with A-Listers, who may even be able to help him fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a famous writer. But rats … after just a few days on the job, Mercedes’ odious manager, Jared Evans, is found dead. Murdered, actually. And Timothy is a suspect!

Timothy had better find the real killer, and fast; otherwise, it’s bye-bye to ever seeing his name on the New York TimesBestsellers List and hello to a stretch of 25-to-life in the slammer. And that great guy he’s just started dating? Who’d ever want to get involved with someone whose address is The New York Penitentiary for Blood-thirsty Killers and Maniacs for crying out loud? Desperate to keep his life from completely shattering into a gazillion shards, Timothy sets out to worm the truth from an oddball cast of characters—including a sourpuss housekeeper, a vindictive former employee, a wacko Brit with delusions of grandeur, and even Mercedes’ unfaithful toy boy husband. Each of them may hold the keys to unlocking the mystery. Timothy is caught in a seemingly inescapable trap and must fight to save himself—and his favorite movie star, too.

Excerpt

First days on new jobs are generally fraught with anxiety and diarrhea. It was no different for aspiring novelist Timothy Trousdale, who had just landed a job as an assistant to his all-time favorite movie star, Mercedes Ford. He was excited and nervous and panicked and jittery because not only was he going to his new office but his new home as well. Curiously, the position required that he live in Mercedes’ super-swanky Tribeca penthouse, The Colton. That was totally cool with Timothy, who was thrilled that he could finally escape the hell of sharing an eight-hundred- square-foot studio apartment with two present—and future—losers.

However, August mornings in Manhattan have no respect for auspicious beginnings, and this one was punishingly hot and humid. Timothy had taken an MTA bus from 45th Street, and by the time he arrived for work— wearing his only pair of dressy jeans, a classic Oxford powder-blue button- down shirt, and used-to-be-white tennis shoes—he was more wilted and stinky than poised.

Dressed in a pseudo-military livery, the grouchy doorman casually surveyed the splotches of perspiration leeching through Timothy’s shirt. After a phone call to somewhere within, he unlocked the building’s front entrance and allowed Timothy inside.

Ahh! Heaven! Timothy had walked out of the sweltering steam of the city jungle and into an oasis of refrigeration that was the building’s two-story, glass-atrium lobby. He instantly and affectionately dubbed the space Arendelle in honor of his favorite animated movie, Frozen. “Let it go, let it

go,” he whispered, lyrics from the film’s hit song, trying to stave off a full- on panic attack. Other than that, and the squeaking sounds made by the gooey melting rubber soles of his shoes meeting the cold, polished marble floor, the place was as quiet as a mausoleum.

Timothy had been instructed to meet with the concierge, Mr. Fulton, who would provide him with the key to the penthouse. Key? He quickly found that with all the super-rich and famous people living here, access to their condo units was only possible if you had a bunch of technological ways to be individually and specifically identified and authorized.

After Timothy provided his Alabama driver’s license, a debit card desperate for an infusion of paycheck funds, and a Piggly Wiggly supermarket rewards card that he’d retrieved from the bottom of his rucksack as proof that he was indeed Timothy Truman Trousdale, Mr. Fulton tapped some numbers into his cell phone. Timothy heard him whisper the cryptic words “Du jour” and “two weeks, tops.” In a short moment, a burly man with a high forehead and no discernable neck, wearing a blue police-like uniform, appeared through a doorway marked Authorized Personnel Only.

Without so much as a goodbye from Mr. Fulton, Timothy was turned over to this imposing, no-nonsense guard whose badge read Griffin. Timothy couldn’t tell if it was a first or last name, but he was nonetheless intimidated by the guy. Griffin ushered Timothy into a suite of rooms that looked the way he imagined the Pentagon’s War Room must look. There were half a dozen computers and television monitors and an equal number of uniformed people watching screens and typing notes, presumably reporting the contents of their video displays: mainly empty corridors, the front entrance, and side exits of the building.

“Palm there,” Griffin said, pointing first to Timothy’s hand, then to a device that looked like an ATM. But where a keypad on an ATM might be, there was a flat, white surface with a red-lighted outline of a hand. He touched the pattern, then splayed his fingers between the lines. A moment later, the outline turned green.

Griffin then cocked his head to another device that resembled what Timothy’s eye doctor used during exams. “Retinal scan,” he said (although Timothy initially thought he said something a bit more personal and anatomical) and indicated for Timothy to place his chin on a rubber pad just below two lenses. He peered in, and a mesmerizing kaleidoscopic lightshow of colors swarmed before him. It was so hypnotic that he would have loved to watch it for hours. But, after a muffled ping sound, the machine automatically went dark.

“Voice encoding,” Griffin said, holding a digital audio recorder. “Speak clearly into the mic. State your full name, address, and the home telephone number you had as a kid.”

“What’s next? A microchip in my neck?” Timothy said. “Arff-arff!” The joke bombed. “How now, brown cow?” he added, enunciating each word distinctly. That, too, failed to elicit anything more than a look of irritation on Griffin’s face, so Timothy got totally serious and followed the instructions. Shortly afterward, with all the warmth of the monotone voice in a GPS app, Griffin said, “Your personal body characteristics have been extracted. You can go.”

About the Author

 

RICHARD TYLER JORDAN is a novelist and nonfiction writer. His books include Breakfast at Timothy’s and the Polly Pepper Mysteries series: Final Curtain, A Talent for Murder, Set Sail for Murder, and Naughty or Nice. Writing as Mike Melbourne, Kensington Publishing Corp. published Tricks of the Trade, Hunk House, Gay Blades (each of which was #1 on the InsightOut Book Club Bestsellers Lists), and One Night Stand. He has also contributed novellas to the Kensington anthologies Summer Share, and All I Want for Christmas (both of which earned Lambda Literary Award nominations), and Man of My Dreams. Jordan is also the author of But Darling, I’m Your Auntie Mame, a history of the fictional icon created by Patrick Dennis. As a senior publicist and staff writer with The Walt Disney Studios for thirty years, Jordan worked on the marketing campaigns of over 500 live-action and animated feature films. An expat from America, Richard now lives in England in a 16th-century cottage (with his husband and a definitely not scary ghost). 

Author Links

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Monday, January 9, 2023

New Release-Review & Excerpt: GRIFFIN DAYS AND PIXIE NIGHTS by Bailey Bradford (Fire & Flutter #3) - Includes Giveaway!

Griffin Days and Pixie Nights 

by Bailey Bradford

Book 3 in the Fire & Flutter series

Word Count: 51,143
Book Length: NOVEL
Pages: 212

Genres: COMEDY AND HUMOUR, EROTIC ROMANCE, FANTASY, GAY, GLBTQI, PARANORMAL

Add to Goodreads


Book Description

The kingdom’s most focused griffin shifter and its slackest pixie. It’s a match made in what the hell?

Gage is the most dedicated of the kingdom’s powerful griffin shifter Guardians. He’ll do anything to close a case…even if his commander says not to. Now Gage is fuming. Being reassigned to the World Magic Convention is bad enough. Babysitting the keynote speaker is worse. But the absolute pits? He has to work with a good-for-nothing pixie!

Daire the pixie is a lazy ne’er-do-well chancer…one who’s failed to charm his green-eyed, pointed-eared way out of trouble this time and is on his last chance. Being given community service is crap. Doing it as local liaison at some stupid convention is even crappier. But the crappiest of all? He has to work with a stick-up-his-ass griffin!

Sparks blaze, the pair get into a heated fight…and have the hottest sex ever. And that’s just their first meeting. Morning brings not just shock and remorse, but the loss of the VIP they were guarding, kidnapped while they were…busy. Hells! But Gage has never failed on a mission yet, and Daire doesn’t want a prison stretch, so there’s only one thing to do.

Form the unlikeliest partnership ever and solve the case themselves.

And try not to have sex or kill each other along the way…

Reader advisory: This book contains scenes of slightly off-page body piercing, med fet, and the use of hypnosis and spells.

Buy Links

Choose Your Store 
First For Romance


Excerpt

“Sir!” The guard on duty outside the two-room suite in the Griffin Guardians HQ sprang to attention at Captain Gage’s approach. He snapped out a smart salute, but his hand fell when Gage didn’t march past but instead stood waiting in the corridor. “Sir…?” he repeated, uncertainly.

“As you were.” Gage jerked his head to one side, illustrating how he wanted the corporal—returned to his position in between the doors and not in front of one of them.

The guard took a quick glance at the sheet of parchment paper pinned to the board on the wall. “Captain, you’re not listed as—”

“Stand aside, Corporal.” Gage added a raised eyebrow to the emphasis he placed on the last word and the junior officer recoiled.

Some officers might have raised their voice, or tapped their uniform badges, drawing the corporal’s attention to the greater number of feathers displayed. That would have reminded the junior who was of a higher rank in the Griffin Guardians, the kingdom’s elite federal law enforcement agency that griffin shifters ran and dedicated their lives to.

Gage never wanted or needed to pull rank, either here inside the HQ or outside. His height and breadth, coupled with his implacable, unflinching manner did it for him. Now was no different—the corporal not only scuttled to one side, but opened the door for him and saluted again. Gage murmured his thanks. While he liked how the junior officer had assessed and regrouped, he didn’t like that a situation demanding such a response existed.

The list displayed outside in the corridor was a symbol of all that was going the wrong way in the Guardians, in Gage’s opinion. This bureaucratic keeping account of which griffin shifter was assigned to which aspect of which case in which room at which time was getting out of claw.

What had Colm said last week? “Pretty soon admin will be assigning us times for bathroom breaks, and probably make us sign in and out of the stall if we take a dump.” It had been a joke, but Gage hadn’t laughed. Not many of them had.

The two first lieutenants on duty in the observation room sprang to their feet, shooting puzzled looks at each other when Gage marched in, but both sat when Gage waved them down.

“Don’t worry. I’m not here to supervise how you’re implementing some new directive that came into force five minutes ago or check if you’re reaching your latest performance targets,” he told them, trying to sound lighter than he felt.

He made straight for the mirror-pane that divided this small room from the equally small but brighter room beyond.

It was a light-mirror, meaning that he couldn’t use it to see his reflection, but he wasn’t there to do that. He knew his uniform would be clean and crisp—Guardians’ uniforms were designed that way—just as his blond hair, short back and sides and longer on top, was regulation length and cut. He bet his face bore the same narrow-eyed, focused look it always did. What he wanted was to look through the light-mirror to its other side.

But what he didn’t expect was that the moment his gaze found the prisoner in the interrogation room, the prisoner would raise his head and stare back at him through the glass.

“The hells?” First Lieutenant Antonin exclaimed. His chair scraped on the floor behind him as he joined Gage. “He can’t see through the glass?”

“He’s a mage,” Gage reminded his fellow officers, spitting the words out. “Who knows what these magic users can do?” His revulsion left a sour taste in his mouth as he continued, “His powers have been dampened, yes?”

“As much as the regs allow, Sir.” First Lieutenant Sandrine joined them at the mirror, giving a choked-off exclamation when the prisoner sent a mocking finger-wave her way.

Gage swore. “This tricky bastard needs neutralizing, stat.”

“I’m afraid we can’t, Sir. Not until the request’s been approved and stamped by two duty officers and the prisoner’s been examined and cleared by the HQ physician.” Antonin tucked his chair back into the table.

“New regulations, Sir,” Sandrine added.

Both Antonin and Sandrine sounded apologetic, but it wasn’t their fault, nor were they telling Gage anything he didn’t know. Neither of those things made the information easier to hear, or the situation any easier to bear, however. Gage’s hand had formed into a fist, and he exhaled as he opened it flat again, wishing he could huff away all the irritation and frustration he was feeling as easily.

Few people could say, their hand on their heart, that they loved their job, and Gage would never say that either, because being a Griffin Guardian was more than a job to him. The corps was his life, and he took pride in the knowledge that he’d given the organization his all since joining the Guardians thirty years ago. That’s good…isn’t it? Laudable? Because lately he’d begun to feel that, well, perhaps it wasn’t.

He hauled in those stray thoughts. If he was feeling that there could perhaps be more to his life, it was because every moon-cycle seemed to bring with it new guidelines and directives, most of them aimed at giving what Gage still thought of as the lesser beings ‘representation’ or ‘a voice’ and making sure the higher beings—sorry, winged beings—didn’t abuse what was becoming increasingly seen as their position of privilege.

Gage wasn’t political or even very aware of interspecies politics. All he knew was that the new social climate made it increasingly hard for him to perform his duties, thanks to the ‘accountability’ and ‘visibility’ and every other hells-be-damned ‘ility’ the Equality Awareness Office dreamed up, and hamstrung the entire corps with, from its five-feathered general down to its lowliest private.

“Rules are one thing,” he muttered. He liked rules. Lived by rules. Wished all the species did, that they followed the same ones as the griffin kingdom did. The griffins’ codes of conduct and honor were revered throughout the plane, as was their ability to impose order, making them the natural choice for a federal law enforcement species. A mission undertaken is a mission accomplished. It was no coincidence that this was the Guardians’ motto. “Rules keep things safe.”

“I’m so sorry about Captain Colm, Sir,” Sandrine said, perhaps catching Gage’s last words.

Gage gave her a brusque nod in acknowledgment. He was sorry too. He’d had Colm as partner for the last ten years of his three decades in the Griffin Guardians, and they worked together well. Colm was as reliable and committed to getting the job done as Gage could want. There were always risks, in the job they did, of course, but to think that that contemptuous bastard sitting there—

“It was an accident. And I have no idea why he was chasing me. Why either of them were, these winged shifter beasts, whatever they were. Dragons, right?”

The mage’s voice held defiance and there was triumph in the gaze he leveled at Gage through the glass as he spoke. But when he added a derisive kiss to the end of his sentence, Gage was out of the observation room and into the one next door almost before he was aware of moving or that he’d had all he could take. He had an assignment and he would do what it took to see it through. That was the way he operated. How he saw the world.

“Out,” he ordered the second lieutenant in the interrogation room before the officer had gotten out the S of Sir. “Now!” he snapped. He rounded on the prisoner the second the door was closed, his eyes narrowed. “So. It’s just you and me now, scum.”

“I’m a mage,” the prisoner snarked. “Which means that I’m—”

“Oh, excuse me. Mage scum,” Gage snapped. “A mage scum con artist who used his ‘magic’ to rob money-vaults and businesses, having found a way around the thief protections. One who I came to question, which, for the record, is why you tried to run, and in your escape, you injured my partner.” He let the fury he felt show.

“What? I did that? Well, that was wrong of me. I made a mistake there.” The mage looked down at the desk in front of him for a few seconds. When he looked up again, his eyes grew darker as he turned his head slowly toward Gage. By the time he stared full force at him, his eyes were completely black, with no white to them at all. The effect was unnerving and the revealed strength of his powers worrying. Gage braced himself.

“Because I was aiming for the both of you.” The mage got to his feet, his movements swift and jerky. Snakelike, almost. “You’re stronger than your partner, though. Colm, wasn’t it? Or isn’t it, if he’s still alive? Pity. A two-for-one hit-and-destroy would have saved me time and effort.”

“Like you’ve saved us time and effort?” Gage kept his voice quiet when he wanted to yell at this piece of troll sh*t. “By confessing?” He smirked.

“Oh, if only anyone had witnessed it, either visually or audibly.” The mage pulled a pitying face. “If only the mirror-glass hadn’t silvered, and the listening holes hadn’t all blocked.” He gave Gage time to take in his meaning.

What—? Gage took his eyes off the prisoner to throw a glance at the light-mirror and the conduit holes below it.

“Because without a record of this, it’s like I was never here, griffin. And that being the case, I think I’ll be off.” The mage moved.

Instantly, Gage took a step forward to block him. “Oh, we just let you walk out of here, do we?” he scoffed.

The mage shrugged, as if he didn’t care, then brought his hands up at lightning speed and weaved his fingers in a quick, complex pattern. “A state of balance or a lack of motion,” he began, his voice low, and his eyes glowing a molten silver. Before Gage understood or could make him cease, he continued, his volume getting louder with each word, “A slowing or stoppage of a flow.”

He brought his hands together on the last word, the clap loud, and the stasis spell he’d cast hit Gage like a punch to the stomach. It didn’t have him staggering backward or knock him onto his ass like a physical blow would, though. Instead, it trapped him in place, unable to move. With a caw of triumph, the prisoner thumbed his nose at Gage, opened the door and walked out.

No. No no no! We should have neutered him, regulations be damned! Gage heaved in a breath, fighting with all his strength. That troll-dung mage had said Gage was stronger than his partner, which was true, but not true enough. Gage was stronger than any Griffin Guardian currently in the corps or in its records. He trained and honed the strength and resistance in his muscles and sinews and mind and spirit, increasing year-on-year what he could battle—and defeat.

Fighting the spell cast on him was like pulling himself along a too-narrow corridor whose walls were lined with broken glass, but he ignored the jagged shards ripping into him and actually—he saw, glancing down—rending his uniform and cutting his flesh. The pain barely registered and any spots of blood staining the gray tunic and pants vanished, just as rips in the fabric disappeared.

With one final almighty heave Gage was free. Panting, he shook off the remains of the stasis bind to hurl himself to the door. The mage was at the end of the corridor by now, and there was enough of his residual power left dusted on Gage for Gage to see the outline of the shield spell the prisoner had cloaked himself in.

The pull of the magic used snapped from its victim to its caster, the rogue mage who stopped in his tracks and turned around. The drop of the prisoner’s jaw on seeing Gage free was the only amusing thing about the situation. The mage whipped around again and broke into a run.

“Stop!” Gage yelled, and the command in his voice had everyone freezing…everyone except the one he wanted to, the one who was making for the large window at the end of the corridor.

The mage ran faster, gathering speed and power. If that didn’t give a hint about his escape plan, the hissed incantation and his hand outstretched toward the window did. A crack and the glass was gone. It hadn’t shattered, but vanished, leaving the window frame gaping empty. The mage had already demonstrated an affinity with glass, but Gage had no intention of letting the bastard use it as an exit route. He sped up too.

“Captain, you can’t!” Second Lieutenant Ralnd yelled behind him.

Oh, but Gage could. This was his case and he was doing whatever it took to close it.

Whatever it took.

Carra's Review

I enjoyed the first book in this series, but haven’t read the second—thankfully though each of these stories stands on its own.  The synopsis here for book three caught my eye, especially since I haven’t read any stories with griffins in them before.


Given the mythology of griffins and the setup at the beginning of this story, one would expect Gage to be a protector, serious, controlled, and committed to his duties.  This is how things start out, with him dedicated to his work and determined to carry out justice.  Once Daire enters the picture though, Gage’s world is pretty much turned upside down.  Daire is a pixie, and true to their mythology here most pixies are mischievous, sneaky, and tricksters.  


The two are quickly drawn to each other physically, and it’s to the point of severe distraction for both of them.  Once they start, it’s like they can’t stop.  This and other things cause them to lose focus on their priorities, which does lead to the story itself becoming a bit unfocused as well.  In addition, to me it felt like the extreme physical nature of Gage and Daire’s relationship made it hard to feel like there was any kind of real emotional connection between them.


The characters’ loss of focus and the resulting tangents they follow did cause my attention to wander for at least the middle third of the story, probably a bit more than that.  Things finally get back on track towards the end, though I still didn’t feel the “meant to be” about their relationship.


Overall this was a 3-star read for me.  If you’re a fan of supernatural/fantasy creatures, this book will likely appeal to you, just be ready for a roundabout ride to get where it’s going.


About the Author

Bailey Bradford

A native Texan, Bailey spends her days spinning stories around in her head, which has contributed to more than one incident of tripping over her own feet. Evenings are reserved for pounding away at the keyboard, as are early morning hours. Sleep? Doesn't happen much. Writing is too much fun, and there are too many characters bouncing about, tapping on Bailey's brain demanding to be let out. 

 Caffeine and chocolate are permanent fixtures in Bailey's office and are never far from hand at any given time. Removing either of those necessities from Bailey's presence can result in what is known as A Very, Very Scary Bailey and is not advised under any circumstances.

Giveaway!

Enter for your chance to win a $50.00 First For Romance Gift Card! Competition hosted by Totally Entwined Group 




Thursday, November 1, 2018

Spotlight: The M/M Romance Christmas Box Set by Isobel Starling


BOOK BLAST

Award-winning author Isobel Starling presents 

The M/M Romance Christmas Box Set containing four funny, kinky seasonal romances


The M/M Romance Christmas Box Set

Author: Isobel Starling

Publisher: Decent Fellows Press
Cover Artist: Isobel Starling
Genre/s: M/M Romance, comedy, puppy play
Heat Rating: 4 flames 
Length: 46,193 words/262 pages
This is two novellas and two short stories, all with a Christmas theme.




With the holidays approaching Isobel Starling presents 

The M/M Romance Christmas Box Set 

containing four delightfully humorous and kinky seasonal romances. 

This box set is available as an e-book; 

you can read it free in Kindle Unlimited 

or listen to the exceptionally funny audiobook by award-winning narrator Gary Furlong.


The stories in the box set are:

Fred & Ginger

Chris Miller, a patisserie chef for Big Boy Cupcakes has to rush the last minute order of cock cupcakes for the party of a celebrity, but in his haste to deliver, he falls foul of an over-keen chocolate labrador named Fred, and his handsome owner...


The Christmas Bonus

The Investobank Christmas shindig at the Lorien Hotel puts Jake Walters, and the object of his lust in the same place at the same time... and it's Christmas!



Daddy Christmas (Daddy Kink short story) NEW!

Ryan Sutherland, a side character from 'Detective Fox and the Christmas Caper' at last gets the happy ending he deserves.


Back Where He Belongs (M/M Puppy Play Novella)


Kier Campbell returns to Scotland from Australia to spend Christmas with his family. What he finds there is a gift that is worth more than money could buy.


Please note: These stories are gay romance stories and contain graphic depictions of sex.

The total word count is approximately 46k, the audiobook is just over 4 hours long. These stories have all the Christmas feels to give you a warm glow inside.

Buy Links - Available on Kindle Unlimited



Audiobook


Listen to a sample here:




About the Author 

Isobel Starling is an award-winning author of gay romance. Isobel spent most of her twenty-year professional career making art in Ireland. She relocated to the UK, and faced with the dreaded artist’s creative block, Isobel started to write and found she loved writing more than making art.

The Shatterproof Bondseries is an Amazon Gay Romance bestseller and has been translated into French, German and Italian. 

“As You Wish” (Shatterproof Bond #1), narrated by Gary Furlong, won the Audiobook Reviewer Award, Romance Category 2018. Isobel and Gary have produced ten audiobooks together, including whole Shatterproof Bond series.

Isobel will release the first book in her thrilling new fantasy series The Quiet Work in March 2019.

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Author Links




BOOK BLAST SCHEDULE








Tuesday, January 30, 2018

New Release-Excerpt & Giveaway: HEAVENLY PLEASURES by Isla Dennes (For Heaven's Sake #1)

*** RELEASING TODAY !! ***
At Heavenly Pleasures, quite a lot of things are possible...
Heavenly Pleasures
HEAVENLY PLEASURES
Isla Dennes
Series: For Heaven's Sake Book 1
Genre: Chick Lit, Comedy, Romance
Publisher: Totally Bound
Publication Date: January 30, 2018
Meet Brooke, a self-confessed shopaholic turned reluctant brothel receptionist, as she stumbles through life, trying to live up to her parents' and fiancé's high expectations-at the cost of her now low self-esteem.
Who would have thought a group of working girls would help her rediscover her inner strength and finally tackle her personal demons? But at Heavenly Pleasures, the rules are made to be broken and new opportunities are just around the corner...

Purchase Links

Excerpt

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Scarlett asked, taking in my pale face and trembling hands.
“Some bloke just walked in here and asked me to have sex with him!”
Uggh! And he’d been all greasy black hair, gold fillings and overgrown ’tache, like an aging porn star. I stifled the urge to throw up.
Shaking her head in disgust, Scarlett rolled her eyes. “Hate to break it to you, precious, but you are working in a brothel, you know.”
“But—”
“But nothing. What the hell did you expect him to ask for, a burger and fries?”
“I kept telling him I was only the receptionist, but he didn’t seem to care. He told me he’d pay extra if he had to.” I fought to calm my racing heart and queasy stomach.
Scarlett’s eyes narrowed. She didn’t look happy. It occurred to me that maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.
“What do you mean extra? How much extra?”
“Um…” I swallowed hard. “Three hundred dollars.”
The temperature in the room plummeted as a blast of ice-cold fury filled the air.
“What!” she screeched. “And you turned him down?”
“But—”
“Jesus Christ!” she hissed and bolted over to the waiting room. “Sh*t, where the hell is he now?”
My glance flickered toward the door. Scarlett’s followed. For the briefest of moments, I thought she was going to drag him back in and make him apologize for being an insensitive bastard.
Instead her eyes widened in shock. “What! You let him walk out of here? You selfish f*cking cow. You mightn’t have wanted him, but what about the rest of us girls? Three hundred bucks and you just let him walk out of here? Jesus! Prue is going to go off her nut when she hears about this.”
Prue was the Madame and owner of Heavenly Pleasures. An outwardly serene woman with immaculate hair, but nonetheless seriously scary with a sinister reputation, not unlike Cruella DeVille on a bad day, and therefore someone I did not want to cross.
“Oh, please don’t say anything,” I begged, on the verge of tears. “Look, I promise if he comes back in, I’ll call you out straight away—before JoJo. Just don’t mention it to Prue. I was just a bit taken aback, that’s all, and didn’t know what to do.”
This part was true. Haggling for sex wasn’t something we’d covered in secretarial college. Maybe it was the look of pure terror on my face or possibly Scarlett was in a rare compassionate mood, but after a moment’s hesitation she stopped scowling, her expression softening in what could well have been pity.
“Okay. I won’t say anything—this time,” came with reluctance. “But of course I’ll expect some more bookings, if you get my meaning.”
Yes—her meaning was loud and clear. She was blackmailing me, but I was in no position to protest. I nodded.
Her mood lightened. “Hey, cheer up, will you? So what if some ugly punter wanted a poke? Jeez, you’re not the first one to have the hard word put on them by some tosser, believe me. Guys come in here, think they’re God’s gift to women and although they know you’re not a worker, it gives them a sick thrill to think they can convince you to drop to your knees for a blow job—even if it is for three hundred dollars.” She threw me a disgusted look and shook her head in disbelief. “I reckon in their pathetic little minds they’re convinced they’ve seduced you with their hot looks and charm. Losers, that’s what they are. Anyway, I suppose it’s probably just as well you didn’t take him up on it.”
“Really?” I brightened, seeing it as a sign I was forgiven.
“Yeah, the girls would have flattened you if you had.”
Oh, God. I felt ill. What on earth had happened to my perfect life?
Two months ago, I had never met or even spoken to a prostitute. Two months ago, I’d had no idea brothels even existed outside the red light district of King’s Cross. Two months ago, I’d thought French, Spanish and Greek were southern Europeans rather than hooker code for certain sexual practices. And two months ago, I’d been happily looking forward to marrying my fiancé, Brad, an up-and-coming lawyer who planned to be the youngest junior partner in the law firm where he worked.
Yes, two months ago my life had all been mapped out before me.
But that was before a day out in the city to catch up with an old friend triggered a series of events that would ultimately bring about my downfall. Yep, it was at that point I can honestly say my life had bit the big one, nose-diving to newly discovered depths of desperation and despair. I was completely screwed and I didn’t have anyone to blame but myself…

Heavenly Pleasures Tour Graphic

About Isla Dennes

Married, mother of one son and three daughters, Isla Dennes developed a love for writing while employed in her dream job as the owner of a book shop situated in a seaside resort town in NSW, Australia. Not content in simply reading every book in the store, she found herself compelled to create novels of her own.
Had she concentrated more on sales and less on writing she might well have retired a wealthy woman, but writing won out in the end, with the result being a lifelong passion for creative writing across a number of genres, including a brief but regrettable sojourn into horribly sentimental New-aged poetry which is best forgotten.

Giveaway!

WIN $10 AMAZON GIFT CARD
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Contest runs from January 15 - February 1, 2018.

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Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Pre-Order-Excerpt & Giveaway: HEAVENLY PLEASURES by Isla Dennes

*** PRE-ORDER ALERT ***
Releasing January 30, 2018
Heavenly Pleasures Tour Graphic
HEAVENLY PLEASURES

by Isla Dennes
Heavenly Pleasures
Series: For Heaven's Sake Book
Genre: Chick Lit, Comedy, Romance
Publisher: Totally Bound
Publication Date: January 30, 2018
At Heavenly Pleasures, quite a lot of things are possible...
Meet Brooke, a self-confessed shopaholic turned reluctant brothel receptionist, as she stumbles through life, trying to live up to her parents' and fiancé's high expectations-at the cost of her now low self-esteem.
Who would have thought a group of working girls would help her rediscover her inner strength and finally tackle her personal demons? But at Heavenly Pleasures, the rules are made to be broken and new opportunities are just around the corner...
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Excerpt

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Scarlett asked, taking in my pale face and trembling hands.

“Some bloke just walked in here and asked me to have sex with him!”

Uggh! And he’d been all greasy black hair, gold fillings and overgrown ’tache, like an aging porn star. I stifled the urge to throw up.

Shaking her head in disgust, Scarlett rolled her eyes. “Hate to break it to you, precious, but you are working in a brothel, you know.”

“But—”

“But nothing. What the hell did you expect him to ask for, a burger and fries?”

“I kept telling him I was only the receptionist, but he didn’t seem to care. He told me he’d pay extra if he had to.” I fought to calm my racing heart and queasy stomach.

Scarlett’s eyes narrowed. She didn’t look happy. It occurred to me that maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.

“What do you mean extra? How much extra?”

“Um…” I swallowed hard. “Three hundred dollars.”

The temperature in the room plummeted as a blast of ice-cold fury filled the air.

“What!” she screeched. “And you turned him down?”

“But—”

“Jesus Christ!” she hissed and bolted over to the waiting room. “Sh*t, where the hell is he now?”

My glance flickered toward the door. Scarlett’s followed. For the briefest of moments, I thought she was going to drag him back in and make him apologize for being an insensitive bastard.

Instead her eyes widened in shock. “What! You let him walk out of here? You selfish f*cking cow. You mightn’t have wanted him, but what about the rest of us girls? Three hundred bucks and you just let him walk out of here? Jesus! Prue is going to go off her nut when she hears about this.”

Prue was the Madame and owner of Heavenly Pleasures. An outwardly serene woman with immaculate hair, but nonetheless seriously scary with a sinister reputation, not unlike Cruella DeVille on a bad day, and therefore someone I did not want to cross.

“Oh, please don’t say anything,” I begged, on the verge of tears. “Look, I promise if he comes back in, I’ll call you out straight away—before JoJo. Just don’t mention it to Prue. I was just a bit taken aback, that’s all, and didn’t know what to do.”

This part was true. Haggling for sex wasn’t something we’d covered in secretarial college. Maybe it was the look of pure terror on my face or possibly Scarlett was in a rare compassionate mood, but after a moment’s hesitation she stopped scowling, her expression softening in what could well have been pity.

“Okay. I won’t say anything—this time,” came with reluctance. “But of course I’ll expect some more bookings, if you get my meaning.”

Yes—her meaning was loud and clear. She was blackmailing me, but I was in no position to protest. I nodded.

Her mood lightened. “Hey, cheer up, will you? So what if some ugly punter wanted a poke? Jeez, you’re not the first one to have the hard word put on them by some tosser, believe me. Guys come in here, think they’re God’s gift to women and although they know you’re not a worker, it gives them a sick thrill to think they can convince you to drop to your knees for a blow job—even if it is for three hundred dollars.” She threw me a disgusted look and shook her head in disbelief. “I reckon in their pathetic little minds they’re convinced they’ve seduced you with their hot looks and charm. Losers, that’s what they are. Anyway, I suppose it’s probably just as well you didn’t take him up on it.”

“Really?” I brightened, seeing it as a sign I was forgiven.

“Yeah, the girls would have flattened you if you had.”

Oh, God. I felt ill. What on earth had happened to my perfect life?

Two months ago, I had never met or even spoken to a prostitute. Two months ago, I’d had no idea brothels even existed outside the red light district of King’s Cross. Two months ago, I’d thought French, Spanish and Greek were southern Europeans rather than hooker code for certain sexual practices. And two months ago, I’d been happily looking forward to marrying my fiancé, Brad, an up-and-coming lawyer who planned to be the youngest junior partner in the law firm where he worked.

Yes, two months ago my life had all been mapped out before me.

But that was before a day out in the city to catch up with an old friend triggered a series of events that would ultimately bring about my downfall. Yep, it was at that point I can honestly say my life had bit the big one, nose-diving to newly discovered depths of desperation and despair. I was completely screwed and I didn’t have anyone to blame but myself…

Pre-order your copy today!

About Isla Dennes

Married, mother of one son and three daughters, Isla Dennes developed a love for writing while employed in her dream job as the owner of a book shop situated in a seaside resort town in NSW, Australia. Not content in simply reading every book in the store, she found herself compelled to create novels of her own.
Had she concentrated more on sales and less on writing she might well have retired a wealthy woman, but writing won out in the end, with the result being a lifelong passion for creative writing across a number of genres, including a brief but regrettable sojourn into horribly sentimental New-aged poetry which is best forgotten.

Giveaway!

WIN $10 AMAZON GIFT CARD
Heavenly Pleasures Giveaway Graphic
Contest runs from January 15 - February 1, 2018.

In partnership with
Book Unleashed Logo